💥 Conflicts - are a natural part of any relationship. Even the most harmonious couples have situations when they need to discuss grievances, misunderstandings, or disagreements.
🌟 But it is how we sort things out that determines the outcome: whether it will be destruction or an opportunity to come closer to each other.
🚫 What not to do when sorting out a relationship
1. Raise your voice and shout
When one starts shouting, the other automatically shuts down. Volume does not amplify arguments, it blocks dialogue.
2. Insult and humiliate
Words spoken in anger can linger in the memory for a long time. Insults undermine feelings of safety and trust.
3. Drag out old grievances
If you bring up the whole past in an argument, you will get confused and will not be able to resolve a specific issue. This approach turns the conversation into a "battle for everything."
4. Ignore and remain silent out of spite
Silence used as punishment only increases distance and destroys contact.
5. Threaten to break up
The phrase "let's get a divorce!" or "That's it, I'm leaving!" does not solve the problem, but only makes the relationship fragile.
6. Include the Victim or Child position
By appealing to guilt or pity through a demonstration of helplessness, you automatically remove responsibility for finding a solution from yourself and deprive yourself of your partner's respect.
✅ What to do when sorting out a relationship
1. Speak quietly and calmly
Even if emotions are strong, try to keep the tone even. This creates an atmosphere where it is possible to hear each other.
2. Use "I-messages"
Talk about your feelings: “I feel hurt when…”, “I feel anxious if…”, “It is important to me that…”. This removes the blame and helps the other person understand you.
3. Listen carefully
Listen not to object, but to understand what lies behind your partner's words. Sometimes this already solves half the conflict.
4. Stay on topic
If you discuss everything at once, you won't find a solution. Stick to one specific situation.
5. Look for a solution, not someone to blame
Conflict is not a competition. There is no winner and loser. There are two people who need to find a common solution.
6. Build a dialogue from the position of "I + and You +"
When both parties to the conflict are in equal positions without any bias in the roles of Aggressor - Victim, Victim - Rescuer, Right - Wrong, Bad - Good, Weak - Strong. There are two equal partners, aimed at a common and optimal result.
👥 Quarrels and disagreements are not a death sentence for a relationship. On the contrary, they can become an opportunity to get to know each other better and learn to negotiate. It all depends on the position you take in the conflict: "to win" or "to understand".
The most frequent topics of consultation with a tarotologist
